Who's Your Daddy? is the twenty-eight episode of The Life and Times of Juniper Lee and the second episode of season three.
Marcus becomes envious of a new student named Taylor Evermore who Juniper starts to hang out with. Unfortunately, Taylor happens to be the son of Loki, who is trying to use the power of the Te Xuan Ze to get him out of imprisonment.
June goes on a carnival with Marcus and despite being in the middle of a monster-fight, gets off easy once she mentions she really wants to go on the date with Marcus. When it's a new day at school and June and Marcus are getting along especially well, Jody suddenly busts onto the scene with news of a new boy at school who is "dreamy cute!" The new boy is named Taylor Evermore and has just moved in from another city, the whole school becomes infatuated with him.
At the school triathlon try-outs, Taylor encourages June to try harder at the events, especially since who's going to let Melissa and her cronies win? June is surprised at someone commending her efforts at all and finds that he's right. Along the way, Ophelia joins her in beating the middle-school records just out of spite towards Melissa. At the end of the day, the of kids enjoy Taylor's company and him and June seem to be getting along the best. When Taylor leaves, June sees that Marcus is jealous but he says that it's also something about Taylor himself that seems off.
When Taylor gets home, it is revealed he's only at the school to get closer to June to use her as a replacement for his father Loki to get him out of his banishment cage. Loki promises Taylor that they'll have all the father-son time in the world once their plan succeeds. Seeing his dad happy about the plan, Taylor mentions off-handedly that Juniper is pretty cool. Loki gets mad and threatens to banish him, Taylor feels hurt by this and gets mad back as from his perspective, that's all that his dad ever does, banishing anyone for just about anything, including his mom. Loki tells him to just do the job the next time.The next day, Taylor readies his plan but is unprepared for one set back: June not winning at all. June is doing well at all the events until Monroe takes her to the side and warns her about grabbing too much attention with all the record-defying feats.
Loki gets impatient and wants Taylor to just finish the job already. Taylor reassures him that once June wins, any of the medals she'll wear will transport her and only her to where Loki is imprisoned. Despite his efforts, he still has a hard time getting June to wear any of the medals as June does anything in her power to have someone else win. Ophelia and Marcus win the Triathlon in their age-group and Taylor has almost given up and already thinks of being banished, until he notices that Marcus has given June his own medal out of pity for her trying so hard and still losing. Ecstatic about his plan finally working, he zaps at June and transports the both of them to where Loki is kept. Seeing that his father really aims to go through with the original plan though, he pleads with his father to think of another choice and spare June because he really likes her as a friend. Loki is having none of it and reprimanding his son for getting a crush on some pre-pubescent goody-two-shoes, demands the Te Xuan Ze delivered as promised.
When Taylor fights back, Juniper suddenly wakes up and is taken aback from seeing Taylor as responsible and as Loki's son. She lashes out at him in anger and Taylor briefly tries to explain it's not as it seems. Loki interrupts them with an explosion and in the confusion, uses June's Te Xuan Ze bracelet to release himself from the cage, emerging in full form.
June and him have a brief stand-off, but it's obvious that June doesn't stand a chance against him alone, so Taylor steps against his father, throwing fire-balls at him and going on a full attack. They both transform and fight a fierce battle that June is witness to. Just as it seems that Loki could be winning, Taylor traps him back in his original cage and banishes Loki himself. Loki pleads with promises of actual father-son bonding but his words fall short, as Taylor zaps the chains of the cage, releasing them both into an endless pit. As he falls with the cage, he says goodbye to an astonished Juniper, who is then promptly transported back to her own house by Monroe.
The next day, the kids wonder what happened to Taylor and think it's sad that he had to leave so soon, the girls start talking about how cute Taylor was. Seeing Marcus wilt at the mention of this, June re-assures him that Taylor is as cute as him. They both get embarrassed and dash off-screen.
Credits clip Edit
Taylor and Loki keep falling endlessly; Loki keeps trying to bribe his son with promises of nice times, but Taylor simply rebuffs and back-pedals and floats off-screen.
- Jody: New boy at school! New boy at school! (very fast and excited) He just moved here from Walnut Grove, (runs up to Roger) he lives on Devonshire Drive, (runs up to Ray Ray) his eyes are green, his favorite color is blue, (to Ophelia) he likes a light breakfast, usually toast and occasionally cereal with a sliced banana. (breathes) And he's really cute! Crazy cute! So cute you gotta go home and change your outfit cute! ...Which I did, twice.
- Ophelia: This boy got a name?
- Jody: (sighs dreamily) Taylor Evermore.
- Ophelia: He's not so great.
- Taylor(while passing by): Hey, cool hair.
- (Ophelia giggles)
- Loki: If supergirl thinks a little something like BANISHMENT is gonna keep "The King of Lies" down, she's got a whole 'nother thing comin' babe! All daddy needs to skip-outta this joint, is another high-ranking magical being to take my place in this cell! And thanks to the fact that you inherited my devastating good looks, Juniper Lee's never gonna see our little scheme coming! NEVER! Remember, once you get her on desecrated grounds, give her the enchanted charm. THEN BING, BANG, BOOM! She is the one in the cage and the Big Man is out the world again! Think about it, kid. You and me, hittin' the open road, spreadin' terror and chaos! Hey! Maybe we could see Mt. Rushmore, hmm?
- Taylor: Yeah, I guess, but she seems, pretty cool.
- Loki: Cool? Who's cool?
- Taylor: Juniper.
- Loki: Whoa! Hold the phone, what did you just say cool? COOL?! ARE YOU OFF YOUR NUT?!
- Taylor: Look, dad, I'm just saying that-
- Loki: That you've got a "thing" for the chick, who banished your father to the Netherworld?! I am so glad your mother's not around to hear you say that!
- Taylor: 'Cause you banished her!
- Loki: I am the one who brought you into the third-dimension, and I can take you out!
- Taylor: Right! Like you did to Uncle Teddy, Aunt Gloria, the pizza guy!
- Loki: When I order a half-veggie, half-pepperoni pan pizza, I expect to get a half-veggie, half-pepperoni pan pizza! Okay we have one mission to accomplish in Orchid Bay city. One, and you will not be distracted by some superhero in a bellyshirt! Do you understand me, mister!? Do you?!
- Taylor: (reluctantly) Yes, sir.
- Taylor: So uh, how come you're holding back?
- June: What are you talking about?
- Taylor: Oh looks like you're letting that girl win.
- June: (nervously) No I'm not, besides this whole fitness competition's kind of lame anyway, who cares right?
- Taylor: (sarcastically) Right, (not sarcastically) it's just that, um, well you're way better than anybody else around here. Especially those girls...
- June: You think? (smiles at him)
- Taylor: Oh, yeah! Seems kind of wrong to let them represent our school in the finals, it'd be nice if we had somebody, you know, someone who's a better "rson. (looks at June)
- Gym Teacher: JUNIPER LEE! Second and final kick!
- June: Oh, gotta go!
- June: Ophelia, you're not even trying.
- Ophelia: Duh.
- June: You're gonna let Mellisa O'Malley and her evil minions beat us?
- Ophelia: Wait, wait, wait. You wanna win this thing purely out of spite?
- June: Yeah.
- Ophelia: Works for me. (starts doing faster pull-ups)
- June: (laughing) You actually saw Melissa putting on lip gloss during the 50-yard dash?
- Taylor: (also laughing) And, in the middle of her long jump!
- (Both laugh harder)
- Monroe: Pardon me lass, but wouldn't actually be trying to win this thing, would ya?!
- June: And what if I am?
- Monroe: Have you completely lost your senses?! You're the Te Xuan Ze for pity's sake! Not only is that an unfair advantage, but you're attracting too much attention.
- June: Oh please, I am totally working under the radar here. Bit by bit I am carefully, carefully, edging out the competition.
- Jody: June! You just did 173 pull-ups! That's a new international record!
- Monroe: You're beating everyone like rugs, knock it off!
- June: Fine! Buzz kill.
- Taylor: June.
- June: Oh, uh, hey Taylor!
- Taylor: Ready to kick butt out there?
- June: I don't know, a lot of these kids here seem pretty good.
- Taylor: (shows her the charm necklace) Maybe, this'll bring you some extra luck.
- June: Wow, that's so nice of you! (sees Marcus watching them) But sorry I can't, I'm uh, allergic to silver! Yeah, I get hives! Big nasty hives! (Taylor looks at her up and down)
- Taylor: This is made of brass.
- June: Oh, uh, brass even worse! I get the hives plus you know, uh blindness! But um, uh thanks though, really.
- Loki: (appears beside Taylor) What is taking so long? (takes a bite out of a taco)
- Taylor: She wouldn't take the charm.
- (Loki spits out his food after hearing this)
- Loki: I knew it! I knew it! You came on too strong and blew it, didn't you?!
- Taylor: Dad, dad, chill okay? I'm not through yet. (cut to award table, Taylor enchants the medals using the charm)
- Loki: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (Loki appears beside Taylor as a floating head) Don't enchant ALL of the medals, okay? I'll be up to my neck in brats I am not running a day care center down here!
- Taylor: The charm only transports "magical" beings, dad! Remember?! Duh! (he walks away)
- Loki: Duh?! You will watch your tone with me kiddo, I did not raise-!(gets hit with a volley ball) Hey, I am floating here!
- June: What does a girl have to lose around here?
- Taylor: (after June didn't win a medal that will transport her to the underworld) I am SO gonna get banished for this.
- Loki: (laughing) Well, well, well. Looks like my little boy's brought a friend home for dinner! Bring her to me, now!
- Taylor: Dad, listen, maybe there's another way.
- Loki: Taylor Valhalla Evermore, did you just say what I think you said?!
- Taylor: Seriously, dad she's smart, she's funny, she plays guitar, she's totally wicked on a skateboard! ...I like her.
- Loki: (under his breath) Of all the stupid, excuse me, do you not want to rule the world?! Hmm? Everyone who wants to rule the world raise your hand! Mine's up! (threatening Taylor) What about yours?
- Taylor: Go ahead, ground me for all I care! It's not like I ever do anything! Or have any friends! Nobody wants to hang out with you when your dad's the creepy, Dark-Lord of Deception!(mockingly) Ooh, I'm the evil tyrant of the underworld, and I'm so bad, I breathe fire, and I have the body of a snake, ooh fear me, ooh.(Loki hits Taylor with a lightning bolt) AUGH! Uh...
- Loki: Yes son, snake body and lightning that shoots from my hand.
- Taylor: (shoots a lightning bolt at Loki) Leave her alone!!!
- June: (starts to wake up) Uh, Taylor? (sees him shooting lightning bolts, thinking they're aimed at her) Oh, Marcus was right about you! (comes at Taylor, intending to punch him)
- Taylor: It's not what you think!(dodges June's blow) Please June, stop. (dodges yet another blow) You gotta let me explain!
- June: Oh sure, go ahead, tell me the whole sad story while I'm plastering you all over this cave like wallpaper!
- Loki: Don't let her trash talk ya like that! Get her, son!
- June: Loki? You're Loki's son?
- Taylor: Kind of.
- June: Kind of? So you're not the spawn of captain evil over here?
- Taylor: Well I-
- June: You haven't kidnapped me and popped me down to the underworld?
- Taylor: Yes, but I-
- June: Or was just throwing lightning volts at me, and acting all nice like you liked me trying to give me presents? (Loki is getting bored of listening to them and starts opening and closing his hand like a mouth) No, you're just the son of the big honking demon god of lies!
- Loki: Oh, enough already!
- Loki: (getting out of his cage) Ahh, never send a boy to do a man's job.
- June: Yeah, you're right. (gets ready to fight) Ya shoulda sent a girl.
- Loki: (after Taylor locks him up in the cage) Taylor, son, I know I haven't always been the best of fathers but I'm ready to change all that. I want us to be closer, buddies, pals, amigos. Hey I know, whaddya say we go outside, throw the football around for awhile, maybe cook up some burgers!
- Taylor: Give it up, old man. (breaks the cage's chains, on the way down to the void he says goodbye) See ya, June.
- Loki: That does it! No television for a century mister!!! (falls into the void)
- Jody: Hey June, did you see where Taylor went after the meet? He just kind of, disappeared.
- June: Um, yeah, he had to go out of town. I think his dad got... transfered.
- Ophelia: Wow, that was fast.
- Marcus: Not fast enough, that guy was evil.
- June: Yeah well, maybe not entirely.
- Jody: He was really cute!
- June: (laughing) Yeah, so cute!
- Ophelia: Major cute!
- June: Crazy cute! (sees Marcus wilt at this)
- June: ..But, you're way cuter! (Both smile, then realize what June just said
- June: Okay, gotta go!
- Marcus: Yeah, me too!(Both look back at each other and disappear off-screen at the same time)
- Loki: And from now on we're going to have some ground rules! Because as long as long as you're living under MY roof, you are going to do as I say!
- Taylor: I'm not under your roof dad, I'm on top of it! (jumps off the cage and starts to do the backstroke away from it)
- Loki: Where do you think you're going?! Hey, don't you float away from me, mister man! We are not done talking yet! Void or no void, you've got a curfew! (Taylor kicks his legs with his hands behind his head away from the cage) Have your butt home by eleven!
- This is the first time Marcus is seen after Dream Date, one episode after it. In this episode it is seen that they have been on small dates. June acknowledges that Marcus seems to be jealous of Taylor having June's attention.
- First appearance of Taylor Evermore, the son of Loki.
- This is the first time Marcus gets jealous.
- Second appearance of Loki, the King of Lies and third time an old villain from the first season returns.
- This marks the second time Ophelia ever giggles since "Take My Life, Please".
- Ray Ray eats or drinks sugary stuffs in order to run faster than anyone else.
- We find out that besides his mom, Taylor also had an aunt and uncle.
- Loki banished a pizza guy for getting his order of "half-veggie, half-pepperoni pizza" wrong.
- June's nemesis Melissa's last name is O'Malley.
- Taylor's middle name is Valhalla, which is a Viking warrior's final resting place. The only way they can get there is to die during battle.
- The events we see at the athletic meet include ice sculpture. However, ice sculpting is not an athletic activity.
- The final part of the triathlon takes place at Skull Lake, where the 100-year sleep monster also resides.
- This is the first time Loki used his shape shifting powers.
- This episode shows that Loki has one kid. In Norse Mythology however, Loki has three.